Greed, Empire, and Identity

Reading “No Name in the Street,” James Baldwin’s mid-70s memoir, and watching Ken Burns’ six-part documentary “The West,” I understand more clearly the brutality of America’s conquest of the West (which we justified in the name of American Exceptionalism), the lasting impact of the  incredible Gold Rush madness (which spread a passion to “strike it rich quick” that persists), and how deeply embedded is America’s unique affirmation of rugged individualism (which declares we are on our own, as individuals or as a nuclear family).

The recent #myeconomy Marketplace survey found that 79 percent of Americans believe that hard work plays a bigger role than luck in getting ahead. That result, which takes personal responsibility to the extreme, boggles my mind. 

While in France when that country was losing its empire, including Vietnam, Baldwin wrote that the attitude of the French police toward immigrants, “which had always been menacing, began to be yet more snide and vindictive. This puzzled me at first, but it shouldn’t have. This is the way people react to the loss of empire — for the loss of empire also implies a radical revision of the individual identity — and I was to see this over and over again, not only in France.”

Does that ring a bell? As the American Empire declines, America continues to define “leadership in the world” as the ability to impose its will, as with one “regime change” or another, whether with soft power or the military. And its police are far too often brutal and vindictive, as Americans lose their sense of being members of a White, Christian nation.

Baldwin also reflects on a visit with an old, formerly close childhood friend:

He seemed as little touched by the cataclysm in his house and all around him as he was by the mail he handled every day. I found this unbelievable, and, given my temperament and our old connection, maddening. We got into a battle about the war in Vietnam. I probably should not have allowed this to happen, but it was partly the stepdaughter’s prodding. And I was astounded that my friend would defend this particular racist folly. What for? For his job at the post office? And the answer came back at once, alas — yes. For his job at the post office.

That too rings a bell. Selfishness and self-centeredness reign supreme, as life becomes, as a passenger of mine said, “Work, buy, and die.”

Checking In – 10/24/15

Saw “Truth” last night. Blanchett turned in another bravura performance. Well done, important movie. Not sure why audiences didn’t give it a higher rating. I was glad Blanchett finally summed up her case for why the controversy about the authenticity of certain documents was a diversion from the key question: did Bush basically go AWOL while in the National Guard? I may google that question and also Mapes, the 60 Minutes producer who was fired during the turmoil. I wonder what she’s been doing.

Otherwise, I woke up today well-rested, with a positive attitude, still inspired after having recently re-read “The Fire Next Time” for the first time in 52 years and having started Baldwin’s mid-1970s memoir, “No Name in the Street,” which I have not read. This morning, prompted by Amazon’s “Readers Also Bought” feature, I just bought “Notes of a Native Son,” which I also read in 1963. I’m hoping that Baldwin will inspire and guide me when I boil down my full autobiography, “The Search for Deep Community,” into a slice-of-life memoir, which I just started. The working title is “Faith, Love, and Action.” The first paragraph, which I just wrote, reads: “I escaped Dallas by the skin of my teeth in 1962. Mother wanted me to stay in Texas to go to college, but I was dead set on the University of California at Berkeley. To get her support, I had to give her an offer she could not refuse. The maneuver worked. Enormously excited, on a Greyhound bus, I left Texas for the first time in my life. Little did I know I was headed into a hurricane later known as “the Sixties” that would profoundly shape the rest of my life.”

Checking In

DSC02381Now that I’ve received some good news from the taxi industry and my financial future is clearer and more promising, I plan to cut back on driving taxi so I can engage in taxi-reform organizing and write more. With Wade’s Weekly, once a week I plan take at least one hour to compose a stream-of-consciousness report like this. I’ll set the timer at 45 minutes and write the first draft, after which I will re-set the timer at 15 minutes and rewrite. And some weeks, I’ll probably post essays on specific topics.

Keeping in touch with you, my subscribers, is important to me. My interactions with passengers reduces my isolation and they are often very rewarding, in one way or another. And I have some good friends, and often talk on the phone with Mary, my sister. But otherwise, my life is rather solitary, which is fine, for I enjoy solitude. But over the years my exchanges with you have been very meaningful and I want to revive them.

Writers need readers. So it helps to know if you read what I write. Even a short one or two word comment is appreciated. In the past, I’ve tried to copy, paste, and post readers’ comments. But I may no longer do that. So if you want your comment to be viewable to the general public, please post it to the Web version at http://wadeleehudson.blogspot.com/. Regardless, I’ll try to reply to all comments individually (and catch up on old ones that are still in my Inbox.)

One instance of being gratified by having readers was last week when,at the Yellow Cab lounge, I circulated my Taxi Reform Survey Report  to drivers who were waiting to get a taxi to drive. That one-sheet, two-column piece reported on responses to a two-question survey (about Uber and the need for transparency in the sale of taxi medallions) that I had circulated previously. It was very rewarding to see almost everyone immediately read the Report intently. I also received positive feedback to the digital version that I circulated.

That response encourages me to produce a newsletter, titled Taxi Talk, that drivers could distribute to their passengers. As I see it, that newsletter could contribute to the development of an alliance of passengers, drivers, owners, community organizations, businesses, and others to promote and improve the taxi industry.

Possible methods include a Passenger Appreciation Day at which drivers who are musicians could perform and writers could read their work. Prominent performers like Michael Franti and Will Durst might participate as well. Another project might be promoting a public debate on current issues, such as whether the government should limit the number of cars-for-hire. (I’ve asked the Taxi Workers Alliance to organize that debate.)

On the personal front, I plan to invite some old friends to small dinner parties to catch up and socialize. In the past, I’ve tended toward larger affairs, but this time I envision parties of four. That way everyone can sit at the table in my small apartment.

So welcome back to Wade’s Weekly and thanks for reading. I hope we stay in touch during this fascinating moment in human history. Though postmodern nihilism is alive and well, as reflected in films like Black Mass and Sicario, many other phenomena, like Pope Francis and the Sanders campaign, are encouraging. Like Bob says, “We’ll just have to see how it goes.

Birthday Reflections

At Harbin Hot Springs on my 71st birthday looking forward to my future, I feel relaxed, confident, and clear: for the first time in my life, my priority is to make money.

Thanks to Uber, which has hurt the San Francisco taxi industry enormously, I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to sell my taxi medallion, or how much I’ll get if I do. And because I lived on “movement wages” my whole life, Social Security is far from adequate.

So, facing a reality I can neither change nor escape, I resolve to drive taxi as much as possible, write less, cut back on organizing, limit my spending, and save as much as I can for my old age.

What to do about vacations remains open. An old friend and I are going to New Orleans April 7-10 for the 2016 French Quarter Festival (if you want to go, get a room immediately, for hotels in the Quarter are already almost sold out for that fantastic, free event that presents all kinds of music on 23 outdoor stages.) After that vacation, I don’t know.

In about five years, I should move to the top of the waiting list for a Section 8 subsidy, which will lower my rent substantially. If I’m able to sell my medallion for a net of $160,000 (the current price) by then, I’ll probably be able to live comfortably and travel extensively. If not, I’ll keep driving taxi as long as I can and if necessary rely on the Food Bank and cheap meals at Senior Centers.

With regard to my commitment to social transformation, I may have found what I’ve been looking for: a community of political activists dedicated to transforming our social system into a truly compassionate society, while supporting one another in their personal growth by setting aside special time for that purpose. The Purpose-Driven Community project is headed in that direction.

The responses to my volunteer-interest form and subsequent emails have been encouraging. The organizers and I are on the same wavelength. Their success with Generation Waking Up reflects their competence. And I’m particularly encouraged by their commitment to maintain diversity by growing deliberately.  I look forward to their first exploratory event. This development makes it easier for me to shift to full-time cab driving. Rather than being a lead organizer, I can play a support role.

Pulling back from the Western Park Residents’ Council also eases my transition. Though challenging and time-consuming, serving as President was rewarding. I helped to revive the moribund Council and establish policies and procedures that will hopefully enable it to continue with new leadership. The Council has been much more active than it was for at least ten years and we eventually established a cooperative relationship with management.

Unfortunately, several residents are prone to impulsively attack the nearest authority figure, whether it’s the Building Manager or the Council President. At times I let those attacks get under my skin. More seriously, that negativity steadily discouraged participation in meetings. Hopefully after the August election, the Council’s new leadership can establish a more positive tone at meetings.

Regardless, I anticipate engaging in rewarding activities with residents with whom I have established a good rapport through my work with the Council. In order to avoid wasting time with “poisonous playmates,” to organize those activities we may form self-perpetuating teams by invitation only, rather than formal “committees” open to all residents (though others may continue to organize such committees). In this way, perhaps we can help the Council with its primary mission: to nurture compassionate community among our 200 residents.

+++

Looking back on my 71 years, Mother comes to mind first. I wish she’d lived longer so we could’ve overcome the gap she created by smothering me with her love, which undermined my autonomy. She even tried to stop me from reading the “wrong” books. More deeply, her judgmental moralism led me to see humans, myself included, as essentially bad. To find myself and my essential goodness, I had to fight her overbearing protectiveness.

But from her, I learned to pursue Truth, Justice, and Beauty and for that, I’ll be forever grateful.

Though it seems longer, it was only a year ago that I distributed My Search for Deep Community: An Autobiography. One reason I did so was to enable friends and acquaintances who want to do so to know me more fully. Another reason was to liberate myself from shame by being open about matters about which I had been secretive. On those counts, the project was successful.

I also wanted feedback that might help me re-work the book to make it more marketable to the general public. And I did receive lots of valuable feedback, which I very much appreciate. But I’ll probably be unable to re-write it so long as I drive taxi full-time.

The major event of the last year, however, was the death of Leonard Roy Frank, my dear friend for more than 40 years. After the manager of his building let me into his apartment and I found him dead, draped over the bathtub, I sat down on the stairs and cried. For the next month thereafter, while dealing with his affairs, I cried every day, often convulsively. After I gave the manager his keys, I cried more than I had for the whole month. I haven’t cried since.

Fortunately, the memorial service at the Church for the Fellowship of All Peopleswas very healing. Every word spoken by the ministers, Dr. Dorsey Blake and Dr. Kathryn Benton, was perfect. The speakers and the music were beautiful. Wanting to do Leonard justice, I worked hard on the eulogy, which was well received. But I still think about Leonard often, especially when I have something to tell someone (he was almost always home and available). I doubt that any soul mate will ever replace him.

Two other highlights from last year stand out. The first was an early August sermon on “intimate direct action” at Fellowship Church by Rev. Yielbonzie Charles Johnson, who called for “uncircumscribed engagement in the world” without fear.  This appeal rang a bell for me. It amazes me how rarely people ask one another, “How do you feel about that?” or “Would you like to say more about that?” I understand some of the reasons people are reluctant to be more open or more inquisitive. We often have good reason to be afraid. But if we shut down too much, it becomes a habit and we become frozen. It seems we need to find safe places where we can be intimate with at least a few trusted friends.

Even more inspiring were the exhortations offered by the Lawson brothers at a day-long intergenerational teach-in honoring Vincent Harding. First Rev. James Lawson urged activists to promote personal nonviolent struggle in order to become more fully nonviolent as individuals and more effective as activists. He called on the audience to work on “how we treat each other and ourselves and how we work together” so that we better “learn how to respect each other.”
Later, Rev. Phil Lawson echoed that theme when he asked, “Who is the enemy?” and answered that it is “a spiritual power that has captured everyone” and fosters a wide variety of destructive “addictions.” To counter that force, he said we need a new spiritual power of our own: a profound commitment to nonviolence as a way of life, not as a tactic. “Everyone is an addict and we need to be in some program of recovery from the addictions of our society. We need a long-term, disciplined project.”

Those words were music to my ears.

The most liberating event of the year, however, was reading the transcript to “The Power of Vulnerability,” the fourth most popular TED Talk ever. After struggling at length with my mother’s “you will be a great man” programming, this talk prompted me to affirm, “I am good enough (to be better).” .

The benefits of that insight persist. I feel much less need to prove myself, to others or myself. I look back on my efforts with modest pride. I planted some seeds and achieved some success, along with numerous failures. But I would rather have tried and failed than not have tried at all.

Now I need to save some money. So, if you don’t hear from me for a while, wish me luck.

Transforming the World

By dedicating ourselves to the pursuit of Truth, Justice, and Beauty, we human beings can steadily improve ourselves, our cultures, and our institutions. We are good enough to be better.

Eventually, those efforts can transform our society into a compassionate community dedicated to the common good of the Earth Community. We are a great country that can more fully live up to its ideals.

Working with other nations to enable all people to have access to basic necessities so they can live happy, meaningful, and productive lives, we can build a more peaceful and just world.

That is our purpose.

The future is unpredictable. How successful we’ll be remains to be seen. All we know is that our conscience calls us to do what we can.

Possible Purpose-Driven Community Projects

Dear Steve and Joshua:

Concerning the “purpose-driven community,” here are some additional ideas about possible projects that would interest me:

1) A writing team — compose content collaboratively and distribute it publicly under a pseudonym.

2) Writing workshops – compose drafts of content collaboratively (perhaps including the community’s initial manifesto), post it online for review and comment, convene a day-long workshop to discuss and perhaps work collaboratively on refining it (if folks support the thrust of the work). The workshop could open with a panel of individuals whose prominence would help attract participation and then form breakout groups whose members would agree on proposed amendments to the content and present their proposals for consideration to a plenary session. A tally of support for each proposal would be recorded. Subsequently, the ultimate decision-making team (perhaps a second workshop, or the founding conference) could incorporate input from the workshop.

3) A resource catalog – A website that would compile and present resources — such as essays, books, advocacy organizations, activist organizations, quotes, etc. – in each aspect of society – such as personal/spiritual, community, education, media, government, economy, etc., as well as a section that would present a systemic overview. Community members might rate the resources online to highlight top ones, or an editorial team could do the rating with broad input. Occasionally, a hard copy of the catalog could be published, as was the Whole Earth Catalog.

Carry it on,

Wade

Purpose-Driven Community Dialog

In response to the concerns I expressed in Purpose-Driven Community Survey Responses and the Postscript, Steve Ma replied:

Thanks so much for your interest and thoughtful comments. Speaking personally, this community will indeed have both an outside and inside strategy. It feels very much like we are building a new model that is outside the norm, but at the same time, we are working to build power so we can influence existing structures and institutions. And when I think of “systemic transformation,” I think of policies, economic systems, schools, community infrastructure, how we interact with each other as fellow humans, how we impact our environment, and more. That said, big transformations don’t happen easily which is why we want to build a model that has power and sustainable resources to make big changes a reality.

If you’re willing to lend some help, it would be great if you could fill out this very simple volunteer interest form. It will help us plug people in based on their interest and experience.

Peace,
Steve

I replied:

Hello Steve,

Great to hear. Thanks much for your comments. Though they did not surprise me, they are reassuring.

I just submitted my volunteer interest form.

I wonder, what is your structure thus far? Are you and Joshua making the key decisions as a two-person team? And what do you envision for the future? Will a new, independent organization emerge?

Keep up the great work! I look forward to contributing as best I can. I could easily participate in meetings near a BART station.

Carry on,

Wade Hudson

Following are the questions and my responses on the volunteer interest form.

What calls to you about this proposed purpose-driven community?

I desire to help transform the world into a compassionate community dedicated to the common good. To achieve that goal, I believe it would be helpful to develop new user-friendly ways for political activists to support one another in their ongoing self-development efforts.

If people take time to examine themselves and their actions honestly, they tend to tap deep feelings of love and want to treat others respectfully as full human beings, rather than reduce them to instruments. So I believe that a project rooted in “holistic politics” and “deep nonviolence” could be more effective than traditional organizing methods and contribute to what Gandhi called “evolutionary revolution.”

This transformation could be enhanced by a network of semi-autonomous small groups that share a common worldview and use the same or similar methods to conduct their activities. Sharing those experiences could nurture deep community. If those methods were simple and easy to learn, they could be rapidly replicated and spread spontaneously. As the community grew and became larger, the sense of community could deepen.

My interaction with Generation Waking Up inspires me to believe that the “purpose-driven community” could achieve those goals. For years, sensing that those ideas were widely percolating in the culture, I’ve hoped they would someday bear fruit and I would find a community of that sort to join. It seems I may have found what I was looking for.

Are there things that you are particularly interested in helping with as we build this purpose-driven community (check all that apply)?

Strategic Planning
Group facilitation
Other: help develop one or more formats, or structures, for self-governing, easily replicated groups that would facilitate political activists supporting one another in their personal-growth efforts – somewhat similar to 12-step groups.

Please list any specific skills/experience that you have that you think might be helpful as we build this purpose driven community.

Concerning experience, in 1967, I dedicated my life to “organizing communities of faith, love, and action,” which has since been my primary commitment. Over the years, I’ve worked on various issues with various communities. In 2005, I pulled back from organizing and, while working part-time as a cab driver, convened the first in a series of Strategy Workshops to evaluate how the progressive movement might be more effective. Later, I organized two Compassionate Politics Workshops and a Gandhi-King Three-Fold Path Workshop, which was co-sponsored by the Church for the Fellowship of All Peoples. I also participated in workshops and events convened by organizations such as stone circles, the Center for Spiritual and Social Transformation, Generation Waking Up, and Clergy and Laity United for Economic Justice. I’ve also read related books and reports circulated by others (especially the Movement Strategy Center), initiated the Occupy Be the Change Caucus, and currently serve as President of the Western Park Residents’ Council. I’ve circulated a number of online questionnaires on related issues, written about my conclusions on my Wade’s Weekly blog, and self-published two books, Global Transformation: Strategy for Action and My Search for Deep Community.

Concerning skills, I’ve been told, “You bring people together.” I believe I facilitate meetings skillfully, write fairly well, enjoy research, and listen carefully. I am reliable, work hard, and enjoy life.

 

The Dead Pass On

Over the years, I took many people to their first Grateful Dead concert. Without exception, they were all blown away. It wasn’t just the music. It was also the spirit in the air, how people treated each other, the pop-up village in the parking lot with folks selling arts and crafts, the vibrant sense of community. Watching their final two shows streamed live into the Century 9 movie theater was a bittersweet experience. Though there was no substitute for Jerry’s evocative voice, the band was tight and Trey’s guitar was tight. On the final night, they performed their more political songs, such as “Samson and Delilah,” “Ashes to Ashes,” and “Touch of Grey,” which I appreciated. When Bob sang about how big money can “buy the whole damn government,” he shouted it at the top of his lungs. And through it all, spiritual affirmations stood out. Someday I’d like to go online and review lyrics that I missed, for their substance and beauty are stellar. My only regret is that they did not do a Bob Dylan song, as they did every concert I attended for as far back as I can remember. I think if Jerry were still here, they would have. Saying good-bye, Bob urged everyone to carry the energy manifest that night at the concert into their lives, Phil declared “God bless the Terrapin Nation,” and the last words from the stage were from Micky Hart: “Be kind.”

Connection and Solitude

If I am “good enough,” I need not worry about what others think about me. I can trust that I will act compassionately, doing the best I can, for good reasons…. I may want others to do something and ask them to do it, in which case I will be careful about what I say and try to be effective. But I need not NEED them to do what I want for the sake of my own self-validation. So if they say no, I need not take it personally and feel hurt. I can trust they are doing what they need to do….  And if they have something to say to me, I will try to listen and respond compassionately and learn from their feedback how to be more effective. But if they are silent, I need not pull their comments out of them in order to reassure myself. I can relax and trust myself…. And if I end up without a soulful face-to-face connection, then I will be alone but not lonely.