A Teachable Moment: Nonviolent Communication

nonviolenceTwo conversations I had today with passengers in my taxi indicate that the controversy generated by Hillary’s comments about Trump’s followers has created a potential “teachable moment.” Unfortunately, however, so far Hillary has not taken advantage of the opportunity.

When I referred to Hillary’s “deplorable” comment, the first passenger said, “It’s true. And I’ve said much worse, like ‘those are the kind of people who marry their cousins.'” But after we discussed the arguments I expressed in “Hillary and the ‘Deplorables’“and “Hillary’s Apology,” as she exited the cab, she said, “I’ll try to stop doing that.”

Concerning Hillary’s comment, the second passenger also immediately replied, “That’s true.” But after we discussed that “deplorable” implies “contempt,” and saying “you are a racist” is different than saying “that is a racist comment,” she agreed that Hillary’s statements were wrong.

So far most of the responses to my posts on Wade’s Wire and Facebook have been positive. I posted one, “If it Takes a Village” by Michael Cornwall, separately.

Ted Chabasinski commented:

Once again, Wade, I think you are right on target when you point out the elitism of liberals (and a whole lot of people further to the left). I think Clinton was just repeating what she hears every day from her cronies.

Yes, I think this will cost her the election. Trump has succeeded in convincing his followers already that he is “a man of the people”, because at least he doesn’t put his followers down.

So this is what our two “major” parties have produced, Trump and Clinton. God help our country.

Marvin Surkin replied, “Not to worry. Hillary will be President.”

Sharon Edwards commented:

I also find myself thinking that there are missed opportunities to really dive into the deeper issues of this campaign. Both Trump amd Hillary hold up a mirror of white America. We need to show there are other ways of seeing the world. She missed the opportunity to show she feels any connection with those who are poor or who are suffering. When I hear people say they are not going to vote, I have to struggle with them that is the same elitism the world is suffering under. Good thoughts Wade. Thanks for sharing.

One Facebook friend, however, Justice St. Rain, voiced some disagreement. He said Hillary’s comments were a “painful truth” and that Hillary should apologize only after Trump apologizes for his offensive comments.

I replied, “True love is unconditional. Violent communication is wrong , and it is counterproductive. She could challenge Trump to apologize after she apologizes. Setting a good example is the best policy…. I do not believe it was a painful truth. Sally Kohn says it better than I did,” and referred him to Kohn’s essay, “Hillary Clinton was wrong: Donald Trump’s voters are not ‘irredeemable’.”

I also shared Kohn’s piece to my Facebook feed with this comment:

Beautiful, Sally Kohn. This piece prompted me to cry. I especially appreciate your comments about listening. If we ask honest, non-rhetorical questions to increase our understanding of that particular individual, most people will eventually ask us questions and listen to us.

Hillary’s weak understanding of the simplest nonviolent-communication principle — avoid labels — is shocking. I remain, hopeful, that she will either regain her senses, or deepen her knowledge, and use this controversy as a nationwide teachable moment.

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